Poking around the "Farm and Garden" section on various regional Craiglists, I came across this irresistible ad:
I have a free pony thst i want to give away. He stays in the pasture and out in the yard. The only reason why i am giving him away is he is eating up my uncle garden.My ##########, call ...he is a little taller than waist height I thimk he is ridable he just like to be with other horses. He is fast as lighting.
Here is a loose translation, based on 30+ years of horse experience, a dash of cynicism, and a little box wine:
I have a free pony, repeat, free pony, as in, PLEASE take him away. This matter is so urgent that I can't be bothered with standard written English. The pony stays in the pasture, that is, when he isn't breaking into the yard area to wreak havoc and destroy my uncle's garden. This makes for a dicey situation, since I have been staying in a trailer behind my uncle's house ever since the trucking company let me go for that little indiscretion involving the premixed margaritas. The last time I was able to get near this pony, I noticed he came up to my waist. I think he is rideable, but I value my health too much to try it. Mostly he hides behind the other horses and breaks out to eat the garden; those are his hobbies. He is fast as lightening (some things don't require translation). Come get him. Please.
*************************************************
*******If you think this blog is funny, read an excerpt of my book here "Horsewomen in Foal and Other Equestrian Adventures" -- this comes with my exclusive Laugh Until You Pee Guarantee (certain exclusions apply: guarantee only good for women who have had at least two children)
